The Lost Art Of Conversation

Posted on November 3rd, 2009

42-23339868Are you the kind of girl who has a panic attack the second you realize the gorgeous guy you were eying across the room is finally coming over to talk to you?  Do you dread going on a date anywhere that’s quiet enough to allow for conversation?

If you stress out over how to start talking to someone or what to say that won’t make you look clueless, here are a few dating tips on how to master the art of conversation.

One of the most important things to remember when you have a conversation with a man you’re interested in is to make a sincere effort to stand out from the crowd.  Humans have a natural tendency to associate new people they meet with people they have encountered in the past, so it’s likely that men you talk with will compare you to other women they have known (and you’re probably comparing them to other men!).  Humans also tend to make negative links more easily than positive ones, so it’s to your benefit to be as unique as possible to prevent yourself from accidentally being associated in a detrimental way.  Focus on letting your one-of-a-kind personality shine through.

How do you do that, you ask?  The easiest way is to pay attention to the content of your conversations and the impressions it conveys.  If you start a conversation with “Hey, what’s up?” you’ll probably seem friendly, but you probably won’t seem particularly interesting.   Answering questions with just one or two words will also make you seem boring, or might give your admirer the impression that you’re not interested in him.

Try sticking to topics that are unusual or funny – talk about anything that won’t make you sound like every other girl in the room.  Draw from what’s going on around you, if you find that you’re having trouble coming up with a good subject.  Something as simple as “Did you see that guy over there?  He picks his nose every time his girlfriend isn’t looking!” is bound to catch your conversation partner off guard and make him laugh (and making someone laugh is one of the most important aspects of attraction!).

You can also tell a story that conveys some of your best qualities, but make sure not to commandeer the entire conversation.  The man will stop feeling dominant, and will instead end up feeling threatened or bored.  Asking questions is the perfect way to avoid becoming a motor mouth – everyone likes talking about themselves, right?!  Just remember to ask open-ended questions, not questions with simple “yes” or “no” answers, as well as follow up questions.  It will help keep the conversation going, and gives you the opportunity to discover things that the two of you have in common.

And finally, keep the cardinal rule of conversation in your mind at all times: You can get away with saying almost anything, as long as you keep your energy level high, a playful tone in your voice, and a smile on your face!

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Posted in Dating Tips

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