Surviving A Breakup With Style

Posted on January 10th, 2010

It’s time to tackle a tough topic: the breakup.  The ugly truth is that no matter how it happens, and no matter how many times it happens, it’s still going to hurt.
But if we can’t avoid the initial pain, we can at least avoid acting like spoiled children, nearly being the cause of restraining orders, completely losing touch with reality, and generally acting like psychotic basket cases!
Breaking up with style requires you to remember four basic ideas: consideration, maturity, honesty, and self-respect.  Let’s look at each one in depth…
Consideration: It will seem like torture, but you must be considerate of your ex.  You may not like his decision, but you also have to accept that he had every right to make it.  Resist all urges to break his dishes or key his car!  Don’t keep calling, don’t keep texting, don’t keep emailing.  Don’t visit places you know he likes.  If you take your anger and hurt out on him, he’ll quickly begin to think less of you (and he’ll assume you’re totally insane, and therefore that he was completely right to break up with you in the first place!). 
Maturity: Being in a relationship requires a great deal of maturity – and so does breaking up.  We say and do lots of pointless things to try to make ourselves feel better after a relationship has ended.  Hiding in your apartment with a month’s worth of Ben & Jerry’s, for example, is not a particularly adult way to handle the situation.  Nor is asking your friends to drop hints to your ex about how hot you look now and how great your life is with your sexy new man.  Instead of allowing yourself to fall into the trap of childish thoughts and actions, look at your breakup from a mature, positive point of view – you’ve learned valuable lessons that will improve your next relationship!
Honesty: Be truthful with yourself about why your relationship didn’t work.  Odds are, the fault doesn’t lay completely with him.  Use your breakup as an opportunity to learn from your mistakes.  Also take care that you don’t try to convince yourself that the breakup is temporary.  View the situation as permanent (at least until concretely proven otherwise!) and begin moving on.  Waiting around for an ex to change his mind will only make you feel worse about the situation.
Self-Respect: Do not ever allow thoughts like “I didn’t deserve him” or “I don’t belong in a good relationship” to cross your mind (especially if you do so because he told you those things!).  You deserve a healthy relationship with a loving, caring partner.  Treat yourself well during a breakup by focusing on the immense power of positive thinking.  If you tell yourself that your breakup is the end of the world, it just might be.  Instead, tell yourself that there are lots of new men to meet and that the next one will be better.

Keep these 4 ideas in mind and you’ll survive all your breakups with dignity, grace, and your sanity intact!

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Posted in Dating Tips


  1. Walton Burriss

    Superb blog! Do you have any suggestions for aspiring writers? I’m hoping to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you recommend starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m totally overwhelmed .. Any suggestions? Cheers!

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