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» Commitment Issues
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Commitment Issues

Facing The Fear Of Commitment

Do you cringe when your partner mentions commitment?  Or does your partner change the subject when you mention commitment?  If either of these is the case then please know you are not alone.  Many people suffer with commitment issues for a variety of reasons.

Making a commitment is a huge decision to most of us.  It is not something to take lightly and with little or no intent.  If you are currently in the stages of a relationship with commitment issues you will know what I mean.  I will attempt to outline some of the reasons people suffer with this problem.

Quite often commitment issues arise because one partner is not certain that the other is “the one”.  If we are unsure about our partner then naturally we are unable to make a commitment for the long term.  Only the party suffering the uncertainty can resolve this issue.  They must decide for themselves if this relationship is what they want.  But if it is not I strongly advise that they not lead the other person along.  Discuss your fears with your partner and both of you make the decision about what to do.  You can leave it alone for a while and see if the fear dissolves or you can end the relationship.

Fear of loosing your freedom is another reason people suffer with commitment issues.  They may love their partner deeply but realize that once the commitment has been made their lifestyle will ultimately have to change.  They will no longer be able to make decision on their own.  Now they will have to consult and share in the decision making process.  As much as they love their partner, their life was good before they came along too.

Maybe you or your partner is just not ready to make a commitment.  And that is okay.  Maybe you feel that you need to focus on your career at this point, or you have other priorities that are standing in your way.

Whatever the reason for the commitment issues in your relationship you will need to discuss them out right and make a choice.  If you are the one with the phobia, talk to your partner and let them know how you feel.  Give them the opportunity to make a decision on what is best for them.

If your partner is the one with the commitment issues then you also have to make a decision.  Are you willing to hang in and see how things develop in the future?  Or maybe you will decide to walk away from the relationship and look for someone who is more in the same place as you are.