The Difference Between Love, Sex and Intimacy

In the minds of many sex and intimacy is the same thing, but in actuality they are not.  There is an expansive difference between the two.  While sex is the greatest physical connection between two healthy people, intimacy is something that occurs more on an emotional level than a physical level.  So here I will attempt to examine the difference between sex and intimacy.

Sex and Intimacy or Both

Sex is based on a purely physical connection.  There are many variations to the sex theme, vaginal sex, oral sex, and anal sex, to name a few, but they are all performed physically and do not necessarily involve any emotions at all.  When emotions are involved this is typically when people refer to sex as making love and now the couple are sharing sex and intimacy.  We will delve more into the aspect of making love later.

Intimacy can exist without the element of sex.  Parents certainly have an intimate relationship with their children; siblings definitely have an intimate relationship with each other.  Even platonic friends can have an intimate relationship.  An intimate relationship usually is formed around caring and sharing.  When two people care about each other and are willing to share of themselves then intimacy is created.  Opening up about oneself and being vulnerable to another is essentially what creates an intimacy between people.

When combined, the physical act of sex and the emotional act of intimacy, the two of these are usually what is meant when someone refers to making love.  Making love can involve any one or all of the sex theme’s but is greatly enhanced by the intimate emotions you may have for the person you are making love with.   When put together sex and intimacy can deepen the love two people have for one another.

Sex and Intimacy and Love

This brings us to the third element in a sexually intimate relationship.  Love!  Relationships based on great sex only are bound to fail.  A relationship that is founded on friendship and intimacy and later progresses to love and sex, is more likely to succeed.  Waiting to introduce the element of sex into a new relationship gives the relationship a chance to form based on the other two vital elements, Intimacy and Love. When thrown together love, sex and intimacy are the basis for all strong unions.

The bottom line is sex can exist for the sake of sex alone. Neither intimacy nor love, are required ingredients.  Intimacy can survive with or without sex.  Love requires intimacy but certainly works well if the element of sex is part of the package.  For everyone out there reading this, the best relationship advice I can give you is:  When you meet a person put sex on the back burner.  Give the relationship a chance to see if you can develop some intimacy.  Once you achieve intimacy you will know weather or not love is a possibility.  If love is a possibility then you can introduce the sex into the mix and watch the sparks fly.  Jumping the gun with sex too early in the relationship often stunts the possibility of any intimacy developing. Taking time to build a strong relationship that includes both sex and intimacy creates the potential for a lasting relationship.