Is It Love or Lust? Love advice to help you know

There are many variations to the love advice theme, but really only one of them that cut’s through the banal and tells us what we really need to understand.

That ‘one’ is – we need to recognize the difference between love and lust. Quite often, people mistake the two or commingle them into one package. We feel lust and call it love. But there is actually a tremendous difference between the two emotions. Love is a deep emotional bond with another human being. Lust is a physical desire of someone. Good love advice dictates we know which is which.

When we first meet someone and have been dating for a month, we usually feel lust. We may really like what we know of this person, but it is virtually impossible to honestly say that you love this person. It is a rare occasion when you can really love a person you have only know for a month or two. In this short period of time you have only just begun to scratch beneath the surface of what makes this person who they are.

When people have convinced themselves that they are in love and the relationship does not succeed, they feel devastation. They experience a great sense of loss. But lets be honest, the reality of it is that we feel the loss of the possibility, not the person. We feel the loss of what could have been. How can you truly miss someone you have only known for a month?

A few people would argue this piece of love advice. “What about love at first sight?” they would ask. To be honest I would respond that this notion is ridiculous. Think about it! At first sight all we really know about a person is what they look like. You may feel a strong attraction based on the person’s appearance, but you do not love the person. Any sound love advice would tell you that real and lasting love takes time to develop.

It is often said that one can never really know another; and this is quite true. Most people have a hard time in truly knowing themselves. It is not until we have endured a situation that we know how we will react, and for every action there is a separate and distinct reaction.

This especially applies to matters of the heart. In our relationships, actions feed reactions that feed actions. It is precisely because of this unpredictability that we are always learning something new about the people in our lives. Love advice is one of the hardest types of advice to contribute. I cannot claim to know the emotions that others are feeling. Therefore, we all need to understand ourselves the best we can and determine what we are feeling. But remember my love advice! Ask yourself if it is love or lust.

The bottom line, my love advice to everyone reading this is “keep it real”. Take a step back and think about the person you are dating. Analyze what you are really feeling, and ask yourself “Is this love or is this lust?”

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