Myths About Cheating – The Facts And The Fabrications

Posted on November 15th, 2009

42-15840754“Men cheat more than women.”  “Cheating is just about sex.”  “If he cheats once, he’ll definitely cheat again.”

If you’ve ever been involved in a relationship, you’ve heard a thousand different facts about cheating.  But are they all correct? 

While some certainly are, society – especially when it comes to films and television shows – perpetuates countless “truths” about cheating that, in fact, aren’t true at all.  Let’s take a look at a few of the most common facts and fabrications:

Cheating Myth #1 – Men cheat more than women: Once upon a time this was true, but these days studies have shown that men and women cheat with relatively equal frequency.  They do, however, tend to have different reasons for cheating, and women are more likely to feel guilty for their actions (though they are also more likely to get away with it, as women have been proven to be better liars than men).

Cheating Myth #2 – Cheating is just about sex: Illicit sex is a thrilling idea for many people, but reasons for cheating largely tend to vary between men and women.  Men are better at separating the ideas of love and sex in their minds, so it’s quite possible for a man to have an affair that is solely about physical enjoyment.  Women, on the other hand, tend to connect the two ideas, and therefore have affairs because they are seeking some kind of emotional fulfillment that they feel they do not receive from their partner.

Cheating Myth #3 – If he cheats once, he’ll cheat again: Sorry girls…this one is true!

Cheating Myth #4 – It’s not cheating if there wasn’t any sex: Emotional infidelity can happen even when physical infidelity doesn’t.  A person – male or female – can form a deep, passionate bond (platonic though it may be) that turns into romantic love whether or not sex is involved.  This kind of cheating often applies to open relationships as well.

Cheating Myth #5 – Cheating means he doesn’t love you: Being cheated on is a heartbreaking experience, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t loved.  Because men are more capable of separating sex from romantic feelings, they find it easy to have a physical relationship with someone that doesn’t interfere with their emotional relationship with someone else. 

Cheating Myth #6:Cheating can be a good thing for a relationship: Almost always false.  All parties involved might learn a lot about themselves, their relationships, and the kind of people they want to date, but ultimately infidelity means that one partner didn’t respect the other enough to adhere to an agreement – to be monogamous – they made with the other, and instead felt that lying and sneaking around were appropriate courses of action.

While it’s beneficial to keep these 6 ideas in mind if you encounter infidelity, the most important thing to consider is your own feelings.  Do you feel that he cheated?  Are you hurt by his actions?  Do you feel that sex and love do not have to go hand-in-hand and therefore that multiple kinds of relationships are possible at once?  You decide what constitutes infidelity, and then respond accordingly.

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