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» Live the Single Life and Love It!
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Live The Single Life And Love It!

Posted on November 7th, 2009

Flying solo.

No matter how you say it, it’s an idea that sends jolts of fear through the minds of countless women.
But why?  This is the 21st century, not a Jane Austen novel.  Women aren’t considered old maids if they reach the age of 25 and haven’t settled down, gotten married, and started a family.   And yet society, pop culture, and even those who are supposed to support us unconditionally – our friends and family – still insist on pressuring women with the Neanderthal mantra “Marriage – good.  Singlehood – bad.”
Ladies: it’s time we learn to live the single life and love it.  We are complex creatures, and we deserve more than allowing our feelings of self-worth to be based on an outdated, binary view of happiness and relationships. Forget about all the bad relationship advice you have received in the past.
According to Ralph Waldo Emerson, “We are always getting ready to live, but never living.”  Stop viewing being single as a period of waiting.  Get rid of thoughts similar to “I just have to tough this time out, and then things will get better.”  Instead, think of your unattached state as a valuable opportunity.  Singleness is the perfect time to focus on self-improvement, personal growth, and maturation.
Remember that place you’ve always wanted to visit?  Do it!  Now you don’t have to clear your plans with someone else.  Or go after that promotion you’ve been eyeing at work, now that you have more time to focus on your career.  And don’t forget to spend some time reconnecting with your friends – including that guy friend that your boyfriend never liked you hanging out with when you were together.  Now that you’re single, you can focus on being who you want to be, not who you thought he wanted you to be.
And think of all the simple perks that come with being on your own!  You can watch as many chick flicks as you want, wear your oldest, most threadbare (totally unsexy, but totally comfortable) underwear, and have as many pints of Ben and Jerry’s in your freezer as you can squeeze into it.  And you can do all of this without shaving your legs once.
Spend your singlehood indulging in your interests and learning about yourself.  Discover some new passions.  Learn a new language.  Pick up a musical instrument.  Set up some goals and work towards achieving them.  Only when you’re single can you truly explore your likes, your dislikes, your needs, your wants, your hopes, your dreams – and only when you truly understand yourself will you begin to understand what you need in a long-term partner.
And just in case you’re still scared of being single, remember that a full life is an attractive life.  When you craft an amazing life for yourself, others (including potential dates!) will automatically be drawn to you, hoping that some of your happiness will rub off on them.  Learn to love yourself first, and others will love you too.

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