Infidelity And Being The Other Woman.

Posted on September 14th, 2009

42-20358972Hi All, the topic of infidelity in relationships, and being the other woman, hits close to home for me so I came by to share my story.  This is a hard story for me to tell as I am not proud of my actions, but I am happy to say it was a defining time in my life where I learned so much.  Anyway, here goes!

Some years ago I transferred to another state, within the US, for my work.  This was at a time where I was very focused on getting my career, and in fact my life, to a stable place.  I was not ready for a “real relationship” and wanted to focus my energy on what was important to me at that time; which was not men or a relationship.

I met this guy, who became a friend, who needless to say became my lover.  For the purpose of this story I shall call him Chris.  I am embarrassed to admit that Chris was a married man.  At the time I thought that made him perfect.  I wanted no commitments and certainly no pressure.  I could spend time with my friend, when it worked for both of us, and then he could go home to him family and I would get on with what was important.  This actually worked well for a while. Until…..

Well one day we had a “date” and Chris came over to my place.  He very quickly got down to his business at hand, which was, to my horror, to produce a ring and propose to me.  He proceeded to tell me that he had asked his wife for a divorce.

To be honest a small part of me was happy that he thought that much of me.  But overall I was mortified.  This was not my intention with this relationship at all.  Chris had a wife and young daughter at home, and through all of our relationship I never saw myself as a “home-wrecker”.  Yet that is exactly what I ended up becoming. 

I gently told Chris that we could not be and sent him home.  However, the damage was done.  He had already asked his wife for the divorce.  His little girl was now going to grow up in a single parent household.  His life and mine would never be the same.

I have carried the guilt of this experience with me ever since.  I made a vow that I would never again, knowingly, become involved with a married man.  I had no desire to be the other woman.  I learned that with infidelity in a relationship, someone always ends up hurt.  Usually that someone is an innocent of the situation.

I also realize that many women become involved in situations like this with the hopes that their lover will leave their family and want to marry them.  For the women out there with this ambition my mother always told me a saying:  Becareful how you get a man, as the same way you get him is the same way you will lose him.  It’s just Karma!

Take Care,


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