Stop Giving Away Your Milk For Free

Posted on February 22nd, 2011

In relationships why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free

In all relationships, and traditional relationship advice there is a very old expression that goes “Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free”.  Hello people, stop giving away your milk for free, no one will buy you.  If there is something out there that we want we tend to place a higher value on it if it costs us something.  The same goes for our relationships. Some people are just so anxious to prove their value that they give away everything they have for free in order to show someone else that they are worth it.  However, to the person you are proving your point – you have no value. Pay attention here people, to them you have no value. What you have to offer cost them nothing so you have no value.

If you want someone to value you as a person in relationships there has to be a price for them to pay

Nothing worth it is for free. Rightly so, this is the mentality of many people.  The same applies to relationships. If you are dating someone and he gets everything he wants without the flowers, chocolates or ring, then he will not give you flowers, chocolates or a ring. If a man, or woman, can satisfy their primal urges with no regards for consequences then that is exactly what they will do. As an individual it is your responsibility to know your value and hold others to it. If you believe you are worthy of dinners, flowers and all the romantic trappings, then do not relinquish what you have to offer until you receive them.

Only you know the value of your milk and other assets in relationships

Only you know your true value, and it is your responsibility to teach your worth to others.  They will never know unless you let them know.  As far as others are concerned  you may hold the value of a one dollar bill. It is up to you to make them realize that your value has yet to be made in the form of currency. If you give them your milk for free you appear to be worth less than a dollar bill to them and they will treat you accordingly.  If, however, they are forced to spend one hundred dollars to get your milk then the value of your milk is much more worthy.  Please understand that we use currency as an expression only, a means of explaining in a way that most people will understand.  We by no means mean that you should place a dollar value on yourself.  What we mean is that you should determine what is most important for you in your relationships and ensure that your needs are met before you concern yourself with fulfilling someone else’s needs.

The Beast Of Insecurity

Posted on February 18th, 2011

Insecurity where you least expect it

Insecurity can be found in the most unexpected of places. It often rears its ugly head when least expected.  Especially if you are dating or in a new relationship. But following this relationships advice may help. You may see a man who feels the need to belittle his father, brother or son in order to make him feel bigger. Likewise you may come across a woman who will belittle her mother, sister or daughter in order to feel more valued. Most people feel their insecurities and will attempt to find ways in order to over come them. You may come across a man who belittles his brother because he can not find a woman of his own, meanwhile the man is busy talking to someone else’s wife. In actual fact insecurity will rear in places where you least expect it

Dealing With Insecurity

It is often best to deal with insecurity by brandishing your own security. Being confident in yourself is often the best line of defense. A person must fight to overcome life’s trials and feel secure in their own right.   Learn who you are and brandish this truth as your weapon. If someone feels the need to put you down, turn the other cheek. Recognize their behavior for what it is and leave it alone. Their demons are theirs alone. You cannot fight the good fight for them or you will be feeding into their thoughts. By putting you down they feel more important and when you emphasize this belief it is reinforced in them. Encourage a person to feel their own value, but recognize and ignore the slights for what they are.

Ignore The Insecurity

Showing no response to the insecurity will often teach the person that you will not be affected by their behavior.  They may suffer from low self-esteem but you do not share the same problem. If someone genuinely approaches you for help with his or her low self-esteem and insecurities, then by all means do what you can to help. But if their way is to degrade and minimize you as an individual, do not encourage this behavior. Wether your own insecurity or someone else’s,  fight or flight. You can choose to deal with the insecurity and low self-esteem or Ignore it.

What Is The Point Of Valentines Day

Posted on February 14th, 2011

The End Of Valentine’s Day

Here we are again! The end of another Valentine’s Day is upon us. For another year we can breath easy. For those of you who are in love and rejoicing in this day, congratulations! I am happy for you. For those of you who have yet to meet your perfect partner, I am rooting for you. There really is someone out there for everyone. It is just a matter of finding them. However, regardless of the individual circumstance I believe this is an occasion that is highly over-rated. It is an occasion designed for women, and too much emphasis has been placed on the event. Women have a high expectation of what they would like their partner to do on Valentine’s Day and it all too often falls short. Why would you expect more from you partner on February 14th than you would expect any other day. When in love your partners value should be appreciated every day of the year. Too many women feel inadequate when they find themselves single and alone on Valentine’s Day. While this is not necessarily true, the hype of the occasion is what creates the feelings of inadequacy. I believe I am special every day and insist on being made to feel special every day. Without the capability to make me feel this way, you are not the man for me. A relationship that gives any less is not worth my efforts.

Valentine’s Day Every Day

I also believe that women have the responsibility to make the man they are in love with feel special every day, not just Valentine’s Day. This is the secret to lasting relationships. A surprise shower of yellow roses on August 26th is far more meaningful than red roses and chocolates on Valentine’s Day. I think it has something to do with the spontaneity of it. Valentine’s Day means different things for different people and I thought it worth a mention. The emphasis that is placed on being in a committed relationship is often over-rated. It is far more important that we can find the value of ourselves for ourselves, instead of waiting for someone else to show us our worth on Valentine’s Day. Love Advice number one is each and every individual must first learn to love their-self before someone else can truly love you back. Feeling the need for validation on Valentine’s Day is a worthless waste of time. Finally let us not forget that occasions such as Valentine’s Day were only designed by manufacturers, whose sole wish is to take advantage of our vulnerable state to make a profit. Nurseries love the occasion, as they sell a lot more roses on Valentine’s Day  than any other day of the year.

How To Get Your Ex Back And Keep Him For The Long Run

Posted on May 24th, 2010

Learn how to get your ex back with these simple steps

People often seek out relationship advice and ask specific questions about their relationship, the most popular of which is “How to get your ex back”. It stands to reason that if you are interested in how to get your ex back, that your ex was the one to end the relationship. On the surface, I wonder why you would want them back, but on a deeper level I completely understand the rationale behind wanting them back. So for those of you who have made the decision, read on for how to get your ex back, but keeping them is all on you.

Before You Work On How To Get Your Ex Back Decide If You Really Want Them Back.

To set the stage, your new ex has just ended your relationship. The foremost important thing for you to do is analyze why. There is a reason that they did not want to move forward with you and it helps to understand what that reason is. It is important you try to be rational and objective with your analysis. When someone is ending a relationship they do not always give the real reason why they want to end it, they try to spare the feelings of the other person or just simply want to make the process easier for themselves to do. For this reason it is important that you spend a little time trying to discern what lies beneath the surface. Once you understand this consider if it is something that you can change. If it is, change it and read on to learn how to get your ex back, if not move on and find someone else.

So you have made the decision you want to get your ex back, now is the time for action, but you have to be subtle. Here is where I tell you what NOT to do. No amount of begging, pleading and crying is going to get them to want you back. If anything, this behavior will push them further away. Do not spend time verbally trying to convince your ex you can be good together. This will only make you appear pathetic and desperate. Your ex must realize, with your clandestine assistance ofcourse, that you are someone they want to be with. So now lets work on how to get your ex back.

Follow These Steps On How To Get Your Ex Back And Regain Their Love

Getting your ex back may not be easy. It will require a strong determination on your part to do the things that you need to do. In order to help your ex see that they still want to be with you, they have to still see you. Keep yourself in their line of sight. Frequent the same places that your ex goes. Be sure they see you out and about, but make sure you appear to be enjoying life. When you see your ex, acknowledge them, but keep moving. Smile and say “Hi”, but do not try to have a conversation. Behave as though your ex is no one important. After the Hi, ignore them! Turn your back on your ex and pretend that they are not there. This is a reaction that they will not be expecting. Human nature is such that we always want what we cannot have. Show your ex that you are worth having but they cannot have you again. Let them know that you are not hurting and are actually enjoying life without them. Make them think ‘wait a minute, they don’t care’. As soon as the ex believes you do not care, you are in the running. Do not under any circumstances show that you still care. Show your ex that this is their loss. Play hard to get. Be the person that they think they cannot have and then they will want you. After all, that is human nature; we want what we cannot have. Just follow these simple steps on how to get your ex back and you will find your love again.

What Men Need To Know About Dating And Relationships

Posted on April 6th, 2010

What may seem surprising to a lot of women is that there are plenty of men in the world who have similar desires regarding dating and relationships, that women have. There are also a lot of men who have problems with dating and finding the right woman with whom to build a real relationship. So with these men in mind, I did some research on available dating and relationship advice for men.

What I found was that there really is not a lot of good advice available online for men. For some reason, most people seem to think that the questions on these subjects are asked only by the female gender. But here is some of the best relationship advice for men who are looking for that special someone.

What most men need to understand is that women actually like a lot of the things that men find attractive. At our core, there are a lot of similarities between the sexes. Following are a few

Women like a little mystery. In fact some mystery in the beginning is essential. A good mystery needs to be solved. Women become determined to get to the bottom of it, and in the process good things can develop.

Women like a bit of a challenge. A man who declares his undying love for a woman after knowing her for three weeks is no challenge. Typically men crave physical intimacy and women are looking for love. The same way a female will hold back with the physical intimacy is the same way a man should hold back on declarations of adoration.

Women like men who appear strong. A strong man gives the impression that he will both take charge, and yield when the need arises. This gives women the feeling of security that they all want from their relationship without sacrificing compromise.

Women like confident men. Be sure of yourself and a woman will think you are capable of anything. Both men and women like to feel that their partner can and will take care of them. You scratch my back and I will scratch yours!

As with all relationships, it goes both ways. Yin and Yang must work together to create a peaceful universe. The challenge is to put the two halves together to create a happy whole. Following this dating relationship advice for men is sure to get you off in the right direction.

Posted in Dating Tips

The Real Answer To The Question Why Men Cheat

Posted on March 30th, 2010

As American media outlets continue to dedicate an excessive amount of coverage to the scandalous affairs of public figures like Tiger Woods and David Letterman, you might find yourself asking: Why do men cheat?

The reasons why men cheat are as numerous and varied as the men themselves, but here are a few of the most universal:

Biology: This is one of the more commonly accepted reasons why men cheat. It’s an explanation that might seem overused, but the relationship between biology and infidelity cannot be ignored. In nature, males of a species are programmed to have as many offspring as possible, which typically means mating with as many partners as possible. Humans might seem more evolved than most of the animal kingdom, but we can’t completely escape our roots.

Fear of intimacy: When relationships with their significant others become too serious, some men choose unfaithfulness as an alternative to becoming vulnerable and connecting with their partners on a deeper level. In effect one of the reasons why men cheat is to keep their partner at a distance, at least in their own mind.

Sex: Most people who set out to determine why men cheat think that the answer is simple – sex. That’s certainly not always the case, but it is the answer in some situations. A man might turn to infidelity if A) Sex with his partner does not occur frequently enough to satisfy his sex drive, B) He is sexually adventurous and his partner is not equally exploratory, or C) He considers sex and love two separate entities (something men are much more adept at doing than women are), and does not feel that sex with someone else takes away from his emotional bond with his significant other.

Success: When men are successful in some way (earning a promotion at work, for example, or winning a competition of some kind), their testosterone levels increase. Augmented levels of testosterone lead to higher sex drives and more instances of promiscuity. In addition, because women are attracted to partners who are successful and possess a high-status in society, men in these situations typically find themselves approached by more interested women, and consequently surrounded by greater temptation than they usually experience.

Peer pressure: Another reason why men cheat. Spending time with friends who have been unfaithful may make cheating seem normal and acceptable. If a man holds his friend in high regard, he is likely to think of cheating as a more legitimate possibility, and not solely the province of losers and scumbags.

There are many varied reasons why men cheat. Gaining an understanding of these reasons puts you well on your way to developing insight into the complex motives behind infidelity. Understanding that infidelity is not necessarily the fault of the partner also goes along way in preventing the self-blame game. If your partner has been unfaithful, there is less of a chance that you will feel responsible if you understand the reasons why men cheat.

Posted in Infidelity

The History Of Anal Sex

Posted on February 28th, 2010

“Going through the back door.”  “Driving the Hershey highway.”  “Rear entry.”  “Going Greek.”

Whatever you call it, anal sex is surrounded by an aura of mystery and taboo in modern Western culture.  In the Middle Ages, when religion regulated morality in every day life to an extreme degree, the church viewed sex as a devious and unclean act, and associated lust and sexuality with original sin and the Fall of Man.  Sexual intercourse for any purpose other than reproduction was viewed as a depraved practice.

But rewind a bit, and you’ll discover a radically different picture.  In Ancient Greece, many adult men took on younger male lovers, though historians debate about how frequently sexual intercourse actually occurred.  Relationships of this nature were considered an essential element of the education of adolescent boys, particularly in Athens and Sparta.  Many courtesans also engaged in heterosexual anal sex, as a means of preventing unwanted pregnancies.

Ancient Rome’s infamous orgies and Bacchanalian festivals lead to hedonistic pairings that were both heterosexual and homosexual, though it was considered immodest or unchaste for male citizens to take the receptive role in anal sex.  Free men, however, often took the active role with young male slaves, as the practice was significantly less stigmatized.

Japanese erotic art, known as shunga, shows evidence that penetrative anal sexual intercourse occurred in both heterosexual and homosexual couplings, and erotic vases made by the Moche people of Peru feature countless illustrations of heterosexual anal sex.  In fact, they depict anal sex more than any other sex act!
After the sexual repression of the Middle Ages, during the Renaissance, attitudes towards anal sex became more permissive.  King James I openly had a male lover, the Duke of Buckingham, and homosexuality was tolerated amongst artists.

By the Victorian era, however, sex – of any kind – was once again considered shameful and sinful.  A law was passed that stated that “gross indecency” between men would receive a punishment of two years’ hard labor.

Only after the Second World War and the publication of the research of Alfred Kinsey and Alex Comfort’s The Joy of Sex did sexual attitudes again take on a more exploratory approach in the 20th century, though even in the wake of the sexual revolution anal sex is still often considered mystifying, immoral, or taboo.

Some things never change, but sex certainly isn’t one of them.

Posted in Sex and Intimacy

Asexuality The Ace Of Hearts

Posted on February 3rd, 2010

Many people have never heard of Asexuality. Some are curious about this phenomenom, so here we will try to share some information and data about Sexuality, answer the FAQ’s about Asexuality and explore sexual preference.

Heterosexual: A person who experiences sexual attraction to people of the opposite gender.

Homosexual: A person who experiences sexual attraction to people of the same gender.

 Bisexual: A person who experiences sexual attraction to people of both genders.

 Asexual: A person who does not experience sexual attraction.

Odds are that you’re well-acquainted with the first three terms, but aren’t particularly familiar with the last one.  Asexuality is making its way into public awareness more and more each day, as an increasing number of people actively identify themselves as such and scientists begin to look more deeply into the subject.

If you’ve never heard of asexuality before, it can be a puzzling topic.  Check out this asexuality FAQ for answers to some of your questions.

What are the origins of asexuality?

Asexuality is not the same thing as celibacy, which is a conscious choice, nor is it a side effect of a medical condition, which is a serious problem.  Asexuality is merely an intrinsic aspect of a person, no different from any of the more commonly discussed sexual orientations.

Do asexuals experience attraction?

Many do experience attraction, in the form of an emotional connection with someone or an aesthetic appreciation of their physical features, but are not motivated to act on that attraction in a sexual manner.  Those who do experience attraction often identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bi, or straight in addition to identifying as asexual.

Can asexual people have relationships?

Absolutely!  Some prefer to remain single, but others form intimate long-term partnerships.  “Asexuality” is a very broad label: some asexuals only date other asexuals, while others date sexual people.  Some choose to have sex even though they do not experience sexual attraction, others do not.  Asexuals who are interested in forming relationships are referred to as “romantic,” while those who have no interest in relationships whatsoever are considered “aromantic.”

Do asexuals experience arousal?

Many do, though it does not lead to a desire to find a sexual partner.  Some asexual people are not involved in any kind of sexual activity, others masturbate but have no interest in intercourse with another person.  Other asexuals use sex to express romantic attraction for a sexual partner, or experience sexual attraction that is based solely on an emotional connection, not on any outward characteristics (known as “demisexual”).

For more information, check out the Asexuality Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) at www.asexuality.org. 

Posted in Sex and Intimacy

Long-Distance Relationships Can Be Sweet.

Posted on January 30th, 2010

Having a successful relationship with someone who lives around the corner is difficult.

Having a successful relationship with someone who lives thousands of miles away is twice the challenge.

It might be hard to imagine maintaining a thriving long-distance relationship, but imagine how you’d feel if you let fear and physical separation get in the way of your happiness.  Though this kind of relationship does present hurdles and stumbling blocks that other relationships do not, a long-distance relationship can flourish if both partners are dedicated to making it work.  For successful long-distance love, keep these things in mind:

– Make sure you’re both on the same page.  You must establish the rules and goals of your relationship right away.  Are you exclusive or open?  What are your aspirations for the relationship?  How will you refer to yourselves (“Dating?”  “Seeing each other?” “Boyfriend and girlfriend?” “Lovers?” “Partners?”)?  Is relocation a possibility if the relationship takes a more serious turn?  Discussing these issues might be uncomfortable, but it’s nothing compared to the discomfort and heartache that comes from misunderstandings.

– Don’t succumb to jealousy.  It’s easy to let your imagination run wild when you’re apart, but it will destroy your relationship.  If they miss one scheduled phone call, it’s not the end of the world!  To help curb jealousy, be honest with your partner always, and learn to communicate effectively.

– Share the responsibility.  Don’t always expect your partner to send letters or initiate phone conversations – a one-sided relationship will lead to resentment.

– Give your partner something to remind them of you.  Every time they hold or use it, you’ll be on their mind!

– Do things together, even when you’re apart.  Phone calls, emails, and text messages get boring after a while.  While they are important elements of long-distance relationships, there are many other ways a long-distance couple can feel connected with each other.  Watch the same movie at the same time.  Listen to the same CD together.  Cook the same meal for dinner.  Learn to play the same instrument or sport.  Take a class on the same subject. Read a book together (or to each other over the phone or via Skype).  Send flowers, letters, care packages, photos, and other gifts to surprise your partner.  Talking about shared experiences like these will help you defy the distance.

As long as both partners are committed to its success, a long-distance relationship is a totally viable option for your love life.  For more free relationship advice visit us here.

Sexual Humiliation: Recovering From Bedroom Blunders.

Posted on January 27th, 2010

Most of us have experienced sexual humiliation at one time or another.  Sometimes a smile is all it takes to smooth over a sexual mishap, but sometimes you’re doomed to completely crash and burn.  It doesn’t matter how old you are, or how experienced you think you’ve become – every once in a while, you’ll find yourself the victim of a sexual slip-up.

How do you recover with your dignity intact?  Check out the follow tips for recovering from bedroom blunders:

Combating Clumsiness
When you’re caught up in the moment, it’s inevitable that sometimes you’re going to lose control of your limbs.  No one likes taking an elbow to the stomach, getting their hair yanked out, or knocking foreheads together, but it’s not the end of the world.  Everyone makes little mistakes like these, so keep going without hesitation.  A quick “Sorry!” is all that’s required in this situation, because when you act like somethings a big deal, your partner will too.   Don’t waste time dwelling on the negative aspects of your night.  Besides, sometimes having a bruise or two to commemorate your night of passion is hot!

Dealing With Dirty Talk
You might think dirty talk is sexy, but your partner might think it’s trashy.  If your dirty talk gets a negative reaction, don’t freak out and don’t let awkward silence take over.  The most fun way to deal with unwelcome dirty talk is to turn the situation into a game. Tell your partner that it’s their turn to think of the strangest, dirtiest, most unsexy thing a person could say during sex.  Always let them win.

Fighting Bodily Functions
The unexpected appearance of a less-than-desirable bodily function is awkward, but the remedy is simple: laugh it off!  Your partner isn’t perfect either.  You can turn this situation into a game too, by blaming the incident on your partner and teasing them in a playful (but not overpowering or mean) way. You’ll be twice as attractive if you’re comfortable cracking jokes and making fun of yourself.

Crossing Comfort Zones
If you find that you’ve crossed a boundary that you shouldn’t have, just apologize. Sooth the situation by making sure that your partner knows that you respect them and their boundaries, and that you would never intentionally put them in a situation in which they felt uncomfortable.

I can’t guarantee that you’ll never make a bedroom blunder again, but I can guarantee that you can learn to recover from any mishap gracefully, keeping your Cassanova status intact!  Remembering these sexual tips can save the night; or day.