5 Dating Dealbreakers

Posted on December 14th, 2009

Let’s face it – women are not perfect, no matter how hard we try.
I know, I know…it’s a shocking concept.  Bear with me.
We all have our faults, our physical flaws, our emotional weaknesses, our bad habits, our strange quirks, and our devious ideas.  Most of these are innocent – just the result of your unique biology and psychology – but some will wreck havoc on your love life if expressed while you’re in a relationship.  These are the dating dealbreakers, and must be avoided at all costs.
To help you start learning to identify and vanquish these treacherous traits, I’ve compiled a handy list of 5 of the most common dating dealbreakers perpetrated by clueless women.   Check it out:
1) Constantly exhibiting a pessimistic outlook on life: This is a trap that you can fall into as early as the first date – the first meeting, even!  Men and women are attracted to people who bring positivity into their lives.  If you consistently talk about things that upset you, people you dislike, and past failures (whether they be with men you dated previously, other aspects of your personal life, or your career), you seem like someone who is always unhappy – and that definitely doesn’t make you relationship material.
2) Focusing too much on the future: Believe the stereotype – men are scared of commitment, and no amount of cajoling is going to convince him to settle down before he’s ready.  Stop talking about the gorgeous engagement ring your friend was just given, or how much you can’t wait to be pregnant, or he’ll run as quickly as possible in the opposite direction.  Live in the moment, and enjoy it!
3) Being mean or rude to others: Even if you’re always on your best behavior with him, your man will lose respect for you if you treat everyone else around you poorly.  Be kind to his friends and family – their opinions of you do matter to him!  Be polite to your waiters, to cab drivers, to salespeople, etc.  Don’t nitpick and criticize other women.  You will come off as jealous, offensive, and insecure.
4) Acting like his mom: He already has one – he doesn’t need another.  Drop the “holier than thou” attitude that many women develop.  He doesn’t need you to tell him how best to do his job, or that he should eat more vegetables if he wants to be healthy.  Look after him, but don’t baby him.  Men’s self-confidence relies heavily on the need to feel like they can take care of themselves (and you!).
5) Allowing your life to revolve around your man: Few things are more unattractive to a man than neediness.  Don’t spend all your time with him.  Don’t always demand to know where he is and who he’s with, or ditch your own friends to see him more often.  And definitely don’t change yourself to try to become what you think he wants in a woman.  Men respect individuality and independence.

This isn’t a comprehensive list, but if you learn to break out of these 5 damaging patterns, you’ll be well on your way to forming happier, healthier, longer-lasting relationships!

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Posted in Dating Tips


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